High School Sucks When Your A Lonely Teenage Hedgehog
by THEARTIST321
Summary: 11th grade sucks for Joel the teenage hedgehog. He has enough angst to spare. But what happens when he takes a chance on a girl, goes to prom, and maybe even changes the world forever. Join Joel the teenage hedgehog in, "High School Sucks When Your A Lonely Teenage Hedgehog"
1. Chapter 1 - The First Day of School

Busy, busy, busy… the world was nice and well. The sonic world was at peace. Dr. Eggman had been locked up in jail for having too much child porn on his computer. Boy, eggman had sure learned his lesson when big ol' plaxico bloodied up his asshole with his rock hard ding dong. Shit. Oh how dr. eggman would cry "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" oh shit stfu eggman and take it like a man you bitch. Wot? Are you fuckin' cryin' there mate? You bitch. Gfyourself. Anyway all was well in the medium sized suburb of emeraldville. It was early in the morning and all was pleasant and ready for the learning at the first day of high school at emerald high school. Meanwhile in the suburb, emeraldville, young Joel was up in his room jackin' it. "gotta get a nut before the first day of 11th grade" he would tell himself. Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap. "oh shit gonga bust!" Joel was going to finna bust a nut when the family dog, Bobby ran into the room and started vomiting all over the goddam floor, shit. But it was too late, joel had already busted all over the goddam dog. The shit went into old Bobby's eyes and bobby ran out of the room and fell down the goddam stairs and broke his goddam nefck. Ahh shit. Joel ran down the stairs with his damn pants down and his ding dong still drippin' with bust. He picked up old, now recently deceased, bobby and held him in front of him and examined the body. Old bobbys neck was in his ass and his goddam leg was in his doddam foot. Shit. That was when his mom walked around the corner and saw him with the dog. Damn. "JOEL WHY THA FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING THE GODDAM DOG?! WHA-WAIT… YOU KILLED HIM YOU LIL SLUT!" fuck you goddamit. I should get your dad to beat you!

So joel got into the shower and washed off his lil ding dong and and ran his hands through his blue hedgehog spines and brushed his teeth and went downstairs and buried his old friend, booby. He then went to school.

Joel drove up to the high school. It was a releatively lardge high school and it was the first day. Time to go. Joel found a parking spot and got out of his car but accidentally got his dick caught in the goddam door. Now, he didn't actually have his dick in his fuckin hand now mate. Now, he had a raging erection from thinking about the nice women at the school showing him their breasts. And his rock hard ding dong was pushing up the fabric in his jeans and it got caught in the door.

"Need any help there?" said a soft voice from behind Joel. Oh shit. Joel turned his head around to see his crush, a white female hedgehog named Alice. Alice was holding her books in her hands and was looking at Joel with whimsical curiosity in her eyes. Aw shit. What do I do? What do I do? Joel was worried and a little scared with his little cock stuck in the door. WHAT DO I SAY WHAT DO I SAY WHAT DO I SAY WHAT DO I SAY WHAT DO I SAY?! Joel's mind was RACING AND RACING. WHAT DO I SAY?!

"Uhhhhhh…. FUCK YOU BITCH I DON'T NEED ANY GODDAM HELP NOW DO i?" SHOUted Joel at alice. Damn. Alice walked slowly away with an extremely confused look in her eyes. Joel watched her walk away. He looked at her butt and he wished that nice alice would show him her but. Joel waited for his erection to die down so he could ppull it out. Damn… Why the fuck did I say that… he said.

While joel was waiting for his hardy to get soft he got a text from his best friend, Jesus. Jesus was not Mexican, he was an orange hedgehog. And his parents both had autism. Jesus texted him and said "DOOD WHER THA FUK R U NIGA?! SKOOL IZ ABOUT TO START?!" Joel texted back, "fuck you dood I got my cock stuck in the damn door what r u doin?" Jesus was a sex addict and he had to jack it at least 9 times a day so he was probably knurtin' the jerk. "Im just busy…" said jesus. His stiffy had gone down. Joel's had. Joel spat at the ground, but the wind blew it towards his newly freed dick. Shit. His spit landed on his dick.

Jeol walked through the fornt doors of the school and took a deep breath. Hmmm. He looked at his schedule. Fist period is… lets see… sex ed class. Shit I fuckin love sex ed class said joel. Joel walked left, then right, tjen straight. Then left. Then up some goddam stairs and he arrived at room 312. Joel walked in and he was met with all of the class'es eyes looking at him from their seats. Joel? Said the teacher, mr. Dickson. Yea that's me, joel said as he realigned his nutsack and walked to his seat and sat down. Shit time for class time…

"so…" mr Dickson said as he addressed the class. He clapped his hands together. "so… what is… a penis?" he questioned the class. "does anybody know?" the class was silent "Hmmmm… nobody knows? Well I guess that we're going to have to change that…" mr Dickson pulled his pants down and whipped his dick out. He was fully erect. He then walked over to James, a yellow hedgehog in the front row and tried to put his dick in James's mouth. "dude what the fuck are you doing?!" shouted james as he tried to get away from Mr. Dickson's malnourished cock. However Mr. Dickson was faster than him and he pinned james down and shoved his greasy wang into james's mouth. "Yea, james you fucknig cunt, bitch." Shouted mr dicksen. "ach, gach" grunted james with his mouth full of dick. All of a sudden, the actual teacher, Mr. Rodney ran through the door and said "Wtf is goning on here?" yelled mr rodney. By now the class had all packed together in the opposite side of the room from the brutal dicking that was going on. Mr. Rodney ran over to mr dicksin who was thrusting with all of his might into james's mouth. He was giving james's mouth stretch marks. Mr. Rodney took his shirt off and started beating james with his belt. They were double teaming james all at once. Damn. Poor james. Joel simply watched in slight horror. First period was fucked.


	2. Chapter 2 - Werewolf Teacher

Second period started with a bang when joel walked into the classroom and farted. His friend, Jesus was already there and he threw up when he fuckin smelled it, aw shit. Second period was world religions class, taught by the lovely Mr. Dicksuck. Mr. dicksuck told everybody to take their goddam seats, jeez. So Jesus and Joel sat in the back and Jesus had on his big jacket and he was secretly masterbaing underneath it. "Oh fuck. OH SHIT. GODDAM. OH SHIT AAAAAHHHH." Jesus busted a goddam nut all over the inside of his jacket and it ggot all sticky.

Anyway, Mr. Dicksuck got up in front of the class and said this…

"So… there are many religions in the world… none are more important than that of the religion of Islam… Islam is the fucking bomb… literally… so I am going to teach you all how to strap on a bomb vest… alright… so… you take the vest and you strap all of the dynamite onto your chest with duck tape and you walk into a heavily populated area and yell "ALLAHU ACKBAR DEATH TO AMERIXAJ" and you end your life, meanwhile taking the lives of other filthy Christians and bhuddists and jews with you straight to hell"

Joel and Jesus watched as Mr. Dicksuckj took off his jackert and there was a bomb vest strapped to his chest and his lit himself off and he killed everybody in the room except for and Jesus and Joel, they were all unharmed. Jesus runed over to mr. dicksuck and busted a nut on his fuckign corpse. And that was the end of third period.

So fifth period rolled around and it was German class, with Alice… oh yeah… so joel walked in and he ran and sat next to alice.

"Oh hey?" said alice.

"sup nigger" said joel. Why did I say that?! WHART IS WIRONG WITH EM!?

"ummmm…" said alice.

Class began. And the teacher walked to the front of the class. He had a swastika t shirt on and he stood and addressed the class.

"HEIL HITLER… ZE WHITE RACE IS ZE NUMBER ONE… NAZI WIFE NAZI LIFE. IF ANY OF U ARE BLACK HEDGEHOGZ. DEN YOU SHOULD PROBLABLY LEAVE ZE CLASS OR I WILL LYNCH YOU TO DEATH HEIL HITLER SEIG HEIL SEIG HEIL SEIG HIEL SEIG HEIL SEI G HEIL SEIG HILE HAIL HIPLER." The teacher took one last look at the class and took out a pistol and shot himself in the head. Dead. Fuck I hate fifth period. Said joel.

The blood of the neo nazi teacher was splattered all over the filthy wall. The body of the neo nazi teacher turned into a werewolf and started having sex with the desk. WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF HHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ROOF ROOF ROOF ROOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The neo nazi werewolf zombie teacher busted a nut all over the fucking desk. The neo nazi werewolf zombie teacher imploded in on himself and died again. The day was fucked. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fucl.

The day ended. And joel went to slepp in his bed. Fuck this day man fml


	3. Chapter 3 - Afternoon Delight

Joel woke up and went to the fucking bathroom and took a huge musty shit into the goddam toilet, aw shit, dude. He moaned with ecstasy and pleasure as the cancerous shit slid out of his asshole into the goddam toilet.

Meanwhile…

"Joel? Joel? What the fuck are you fucking doing in there?" shouted joels dad, eugene. Joels ass was so gaddam tight that he squirted ass water all over the back of the toilet. He turned around and looked at the putrid mess. It was then at that moment that joels dad eugene broke down the door and charged in/ eugene was naked and his ten inch cock was dangling out.

"AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW SHIT?! THERES FUCKIN ASS WATER ALL OVER THE FUCKING TOILET." EUGene got instantly erect and he starteed masterbating on the bathroom sink.

"AWWW HIST DAD?!" yelled joel and he jumped out the fucking window and ran to fucking school.


	4. Chapter 4 - Will You Go Out With Me?

Joel hopped out the fucking window and ran down the gaddam street to school. He put in some headphones and turned on his favorit band, "Maxwell and the Special Education Class". The lyricz went like dis…

"I hate myself

I might have autism

thos e doctors cant tell me shit

Or i will kill them

Yea i hate myself

I might have autism

Those gaddam doktaz cain tell me shit

Yea assburgers mothafucka"

Joel sang along to the words as he ran. It was origninaly jesus who turned him onto this type of satanic music in the first place because jesus's parents both have autism and are constantly throwing shitfits and it halped jesus cope with his severe depression. As joel ran he thought of his idol, Sonic the degegog who had murdered doctor eggman robotnik a few yeards earlier. Gaddamm wha t joel would give to give sonic a kiss…

Eventually joel arrived at the fucking school and saw a homeless man having sex with the bike rack. Joel distracted him by throwing a penny at the homeless man and then called the authorities. It was his christinan duty. It was then that he heard a voice from begind, it was alice…

"H-hey, Joel. I liked the way that you dealt with that filthy scumscuking homelessman." said alicw.

"Uh, thanks nigga" sai djoel.

"So uh… H-howe was your morgning so far?" said alice

"Pretty fuckin good" said joel.

"Cool." said alice.

"So uh… do you want to uh… walk to class together maybe?" said joel.

"Sure." said alice as she came up next to joel. They walked to class. Joel had a raging erection the entire fucking time shitd. Alice had a nice buttocks. Joel hoped that she would show him it, damn. So the two arrived at chemistry class and sat down next to each other. The chemistry teacher was wearing nothing but a lab coat and he had a beaker on the tip of his cock. He was shouting "THE HOLOCAUST WAS A FARCE! THE HOLOCAUST WAS A GODDAMN FARCE! HOLY SHIT IM FUCKING RED PILLING, NIGGA! YOU CANT TIE ME DOWN! SOMEBODY CALL SOCIAL SERVICES CUZ IMA BOUT TO McFUCKING KILL MYSELF, DUDE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he would shout.

After he had had his daily glass of absinthe, he calmed down and started the class.

"Alright everyone, im sorry that you had to see that shit. Lets uh… start talking about some chemistry alright… so uh… everyone knows that 9/11 was an inside job right? Yea… the fucking commies and jews pulled it off by cloning all of the passengers on the plane and then using a hologram and fake towers to smash into the ground. So then after that, they killed all who were involved and blamed it on the true god, osama bin laden. And then uh… they aborted the second coming of christ who was going to be born of an imaculate conception of some canadian 12 year old who was going to be the new mother mary, even though her name was diamond and she was a part time stripper. So then yea… thats uh… yea… class dismissed.

The teacher stayed in the class until everybody left the room and locked the door. It was then that all of the students heard a loud bang. The teacher had fallen and hit a table and died.

"Hey, Joel?" said alice.

"Huh, what?" said joel.

"Over here" said alice.

"What is it?" sia d joel.

" i was jsut wonderning if you would like to go on a date or some shit?" said alice.

"Sure nigga." said joel.

"Alright ummm… do you have a car or anyting to pick me up?" said alice.

"Yea, its a white ford focus with the cofederate flag on the back. Its a used car." said joel.

"Alright cool ill see you at seven" said alice.

"Seeya there nigga" said joel.

Alice left, and joel started masterbating to her when she was gone, in front of his peers. Today was the fucking best for joel. He could not wait for that night. He texted up jesus, who did not come to school today because he had to stay home in order to tard wrangle his parents, who both had extreme autism.

"Hey dude i gotta date!" texted joel.

"Cool nigga" said jesus.

Today was significantly better than yesterday for joel.


	5. Chapter 5 - Cheesecake Factory

Joel rushed home right after shkool and he was sooooo happy that he almost cummed his pnats but its okay because he shitted his pants instead. Joel ran up to his room to get dapper as fuck. He threw on his favorite shirt which was a meninist t shirt with cum stains on the collar. He then threw on some skinny jeans with cum stains on the knees because one time he knelt down ina pool of jizzies at school on accident. He was so fuckin excited for his date w/ alice. It was then that he realized that he didnt now wtf to say to her when he picked her up… and where da fuv were they gonna go on a date anyway?

"DAD! WHERE SHOULD I TAKE ALICE ON A DAT TOO?" said joel to his dad

"DOES ALICE HAVE A PENISZ?" said eugene, joels dad.

"I DONT THONK SO?" said joel

"YOU SHOULD TAKE HER TO THE DUMP AND TAKE TURNS SHITIN IN OLD CARS THEN EAT THE POO POO" said eugene

"FUCK YOU NIGGER" sia d joel.

"I AINT NO KIGNNGER !" said eugene.

"DA FUCK YOU AiNt?!" said joel.

Eugene whiped out his cock and lathered up the drywall in the hallway with it and then he went donwstairs to watch the simsons.

Joels mom said that joel should take alice to the cheesecake factory because its raelly romanitc. Joel agreed wholeheartedly.

Joel put on some cologne but jesus had pranked him the day before by replacing his sexxxy cologne with bull semen. Joel wondered why it was so godam stinky / sticky YUCK!. He still smelled good tho. And the bull semen was ABSOLUTELY LOADED WIHT PHEROMONES.

Tradgedy struck tho when joel realized that it was 6:56 o klock. This was bad because he needed to puck UP ALICE AT SEVEN FUCKING OCLOCK! FUCK!

Joel spriting down the stairs and his dad called him a low down dirty abolishonist! Joel hopped in his ford focus with a confederate flag sticker on the back and sped down the driveway. He ran over the neighbors autistik grandson in the street becaus he didnt see him and then went 85 mph down the road. He ran over 17 dogs, 3 cats, 2 chickens, and 19 elderly cocksuckers. Joell arived at alices house and he slammed into the mailbox GODFUCKINGDAMMIT. Joel got out of his car and knocked on the door. It was getting dark out allreaddy and joel couldnt see that well, so when someone opened the door, he grab them and he started fondling and kissing them on the lips, thinking it was alice. It was actually alices cat. Alice walked down t eh stairs and saw joel sexually abuseing her cat. She blushed and giggled.

"What on eeeaaaarth are you doing, joel?" said alice.

"OH GOD IM SO SORRY!" said joel.

"Hey, its alright, faglord!" said alice "It happens a lot"

"I like your car… hee hee hee" said alice.

"Thanks, my dad stole it from some racist chink down in angel hill zone." said joel.

"Oh… you mean… you think that… the confederate falg is… r-racist?" said alice worriedly

"OH FUCK NO I hate black people!" said joel.

"Kewl" said alice.

They drove silently along the raod to the cheesebukkake factory. Joel tried his absolute hardedst to hold in a smelly fart. He couldnt any longer. It was loud as shit. It hit at least 98 decibels on the sound scale. It smelled like a rotting corpse of a cat oh shit!1Q. ALice sniffed it up and she vomited all over the floor. Vomit came out of her nose and out of her eyes. AAAAHHH OH GODDD THE STANK! The smell was so bad that alice started pissing her pants and vomiting on her dress. MAKE IT STOPPPP! OH LORD! Joel's car careened off the road and itno a ditch.

Luckily, both of them survived, but the car was fucked up nigga. The cheescake factory was only a quarter of a mile away so they walked theyre. The;y walked and talked as they walked.

"That was one of the smelliest farts i have ever seen!" said alice.

"Damn right nig nig" said joel.

"Nig nig? I like that" said alice.

"Y-you do?" said joel

"Yes. I really do." said alice

"Oh… um… alice… i have a question for you…" said joel.

"ANything… shoot!" said alice

"Okay… ummm… will you have sexxx with me?" said joel.

"No thanks, im a christian." said alice.

"Oh…" said joel.

They walked in silence the reast of the way to the cheesecake factory…

"Table for 2?" said joel to the person at the front desk.

"Sounds good, are you two dating?" said the employee who was a brown femal hedgeghog

"Not yet, its our first dat!" said alice.

"I have a four and a half inch wee wee" said joel.

"Cool" said the lady at the front desk…

Our lovely young couple waited in the lounge area for some fat fucks to get done with their fucking meals. The pleasant lighting pleased young joel, and made him very horny. He reached over to alice and touched her shoulder. He nutted. Sorry he said to alice. Alice wasn't listening bekuz she was busy watching one of the employeers hav a seisure behind the display case with the cheesecakes and shit in it.

"That man is having a serisure " said alice.

"Oh yeah?" said joel.

"Yeah… would we go help him?" said alice.

"If you want to?" said joel.

"I don;t think i want to get into all that i think…" said alice.

 _ **MEANWHILE… OUTSIDE IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY**_

Jesus was dragging his autistic parents along with a collar because they couldnt be trusted to behave.

"COME ON YOU FUCKING WILDABEETS?!" SHOUTEd Jesus to his parents.

"ME LIKE cheez cak factowy…." said jesuss dad.

"I bet you do faggot! Thats why were eating dinger here! You little bitch!" shouted jesus. Jesus hit his dad with his belt. "Thatll teach ya to talk back to me!" shouted jesus. "Back BACK!"

Jesus's dad squated near the bushes in front of the fuckcake factory and unloaded a massive poopy. Jezuz wus NOT impressed.

"You little whore!" jesus shoved his dad over and his dad landed face first into his poopy.

"I oughta let you too go!" said jesus. Jesus was sick and fuckin tired of having to tard wrangle his parents all the godam time. SICK AND TIRED!

Jewsus and his parents busted through the door of the cheeskscake factory and saw alice and joel.

"Jeus? Wtf are you doin here?" shouted joel

"Just tryna get some dinner w/ me parentos you?" said jewsus

"A-are those two y-your parents?" asked alice. Jesuss hedgehog parents were busy humpin each other in the lounge and were shouting about how the south will rise again.

\

Jesus let his parents loose in the cheescake factory so then alice, joel, and jjesus all got a booth together…

Alice: So… you two are like… best friends?

Joel: Yeah we've known each other since the first grade

Alice: How did you meet?

Jewsus: In the first grade

(Silence)

poop pooppy poop poopy poop butt fart poop ass poopy butt fart pen15 hee hee hee

They ate their meals mostly in silence… then afterwords, jesus wrangled up his parents and gave alice and joel a ride home. Jesuss hedgehog tard parents rode in the trailer attached to his car..

\- \

Joel walked alice up to her door.

"Um… I had fun tonight at tha cheesecake factory" said alice.

"Did you?" said joel.

"Yes i fuckin did" said alice. "Id love to go out w/ you again sometome"

"I love you too" said jeol

"Goodbye, joel" said alice.

"Seeys l8r sk8r" said joel.

It was a good night all and all for all three parties. Joel and alice went on a good date aadnd jesuss tard parents only caused minimal propertuy damage that would be taken out of jesuss college fund. Good times godd times.

Pretty good for the first week of school eh?


	6. Chapter 6 - One Fateful Night

Joel and Jewsus had a nice conversation on the way home…

 **Joel:** Alice has a tight ass. I wish i could kis it

 **Jesus:** Damn right nigga

 **Joel:** hell yeah

They drove up to joels drive way and jesus dropped off joel. "Seeya later skater" said jesus. Joel said goodbye and he walked dup to his house and opened the door. His parents were asleep. He took a shower and washed his blue hedgehog spines. He then went to bed, but he saw that theyre was a message on his fone.

Message from: Alice

Heeeeeyyy… you wanna sneak over to my house? I didnt want to ask you to come in because youre faggot friend, Jesus was there. XOXOXOX bring condoms

Joel had never ran so fast in his life. He ran down the street at at least 32 mph. He skidded over to alices house and he noticed a window was open on the second floor of her house. He found a ladder on the side of the road and put it up to the window. He clibmbed up and he dove into the second story window. He snuck aroun d the corner, but he heard a squeaking sound that sounded like a bed creaking back and forth. Wft is that? Joel thought. The sound was coming from a room at the end of the hall. He used his 100 sneak skill to tip toe over there. He looked through a crack in the door and saw two obese hedgehog dudes just GOING AT IT. they were fucking like nobodys bizness. FUCK YEA OH GOD they were doing the backstroke, the breaststrock, doggie, missonary, anal, scat, hentai, everything. Joel was dumbfounded! When suddenly, joel accidentally fell forward and plopped into the rooom. The two gay hedgehogz stopped imediately and glared at joel, our hero. They shouted at him while there humongous cocks swung like pendulums.

"GET OVER HERE, NIGGER!" said one of the gay hedgehogs. They grabbed joel and ripped off his clothes. They then kissed his nippls and smacked his four inch ding dong around and hit him with a cat o nine tails. They then slammed him on the bed and started tonguing joels asshole. AAAAHHHH! They beat his little dick around and shat on his chest. Joels screams filled the room. It was at this moment that joel realized that he had accidentally broken into the wrong house. It was really dark outside and he accidentally broke into alices neighbors house. One of the obese faggots sat on joels face and pinned his arms down with his obese hedgehog knees, meanwhile, the other gay hog was fully ERECT and began to slowly insert his fifteen inch penis into joels whimpering asshole...


	7. Chapter 7 - Dreams And Football Jizzies

Joel woke up in his bed and hewas scared as FUCK. "WTF he thought" he looked at his phone and realized that all that rape and shit was justa dream. He had no messag from alice on his phone. She never wanted him to ocme over and lay down some pipe. SHIT.

Later at School -

Joel walked around shcool and bumped into some fucking people. "Hey watch it, nigger?" said the hedgehog he bumped into. "Sorry, Niggopolous" said joel. Joel looked over and saw his lover, Alikce. He ran over to her.

"Sup motherfucker" said alice.

"Nuthin much, scum sucking cum slut" said joel.

"Faggot nigger ass cummy butt fucker" said alice.

"Squirting piss monkey" said joel.

I think they might be falling in love…

They walked to their second period class, which was Civil War Class. They took they're seats next to each other and began listenin to the lesson.

"Alright class, today we;ll be talkin bout the confederacy and why niggers should be workin them cotton firleds" said the teacher. All of a sudden, the black hedgehogs in the back of the room walked up to the raisist teacher and snapped his neck.

"TALK SHIT GET HIT BITCH" said marquisathon.

"FUCK YEA NIGGA" said his friend, aristotle.

They then began pissing on the teachers corpse and then they picked up his body and fastened his dick to the school flagpole and raise d him up to the top. Second period was fucked. Alice whispered in joel ear and told him to meet her in the locker room after school. Joel was so excited because he knew that he was going to get a nut.

%% LATER AFTER SCHOOL %%

Joel walked into the boys locker room and noticed that all the naked hedgehog football players were surrounding someone… joel walked over.

The naked hedgehog football players were surrounding the quarterback for the school and he was on his knees. They then started jackin it onto his naked body and were shooting cum all over his face. It was a big gay football bukkake. It turns out, all the football players were gay. The quarterback was covered in cum and jizzies. All of the sudden, the rest of the naked players started wresling each other and started having secks right there on the concrete they were shoving footballs up each others asses and then they pooped on the quarterback and then they pissed on the quarterback. The quarterback was having the fucking time of his life! But joel did not see alice. Where is she?

It turns out that alice was actually in the _**GIRL'S**_ lockerroom… not the boys. How sad… joel may have missed out on his chance to get a nut. Jeol walked home in silence and in sadness. When he opened the door, he found his dad hanging from the cieling. His dad had killed himself...


	8. Chapter 8 - Joel’s Father Is Dead

Joel walked the fuck up to his cunt of a dad and took off his fucking belt he began beating the shitbo out of his dead cocksuxking father.

"Take that you peace of shite" SCREECHED JOEL. You cunt haired piece of ass. You aids riddled pissant. You deformed misanthropic spic. You whiny puss faces rabbi slamming cum dumpster. After he was done savagelay beating his dead dads ass he took out his three inch cock and shot cum onto his dads shirt. Fucker. Joel shaved all his nut hair off and pooped in his hand and proceeded to eat the poopie and then make out with his daed father. Joel farted and laughed and pooped.

$$$$$ JOEL CALLS THE POLICE $$$$$

The police arrive on the scene and one of them was naked. He had cum all over his flaccid body and he had not wiped his ass in years. "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE CUNT" said mr police officer to Joel.

"Nothing you fucking pig" said Joel

"You lucky you ain't a nigger or I could beat your tight little ass all the way to Fresno and hump the shit out of you until you died, honkers!"

"Well then I guess you'll be happy to know that my dad was a nigger lover through and through. In fucking fact. He'd have a nigger up his ass every night all his life!" Joel said.

"So he's a nigger lover and a homo" asked the cop pig cunt.

"That's right." @said Joel.

"SON OF A BITCH" said mr police man as he proceeded to beat the shit out of Joel's dead father. He beat him so hard that the rope broke and daddy fell to the floor.

"We're going to have to take this cunt to the station for more questioning. Said mr police man.

"Fine by me$$" sad Joel.

6969 the police officer ties Joel's dad to the top of his police car. As he's driving away, it falls off and is dragged behind 6969

Joel sat on his lawn and smoked a cigarette. He put it out on his cock and decided to go get his daddies gun...

4

2

0

Joel walked to the convenience store and walked in the convenience store. The cashier asks him what he wants. Joel says he wants a pack of camel unfiltered. Cashier asks for ID. Joel pulls out his gun and tries to shoot the cashier. The gun jams and the cashier leaps over the counter and poops in Joel's mouth. He beats the shit out of Joel and cums on his fur. He sends Joel home...

Joel hasn't gotten a solid nut

Joel father is dead

Joel doesn't have any more cigarettes

Joel decides to be a pussy and kill himself

Joel is sad


	9. Chapter 9 - Poopie Problem

Joel went out and bought some rope. But he couldn't figure out how to tie a hangman's noose. Pussy. Joel just decided to jump off the roof of his house when he realized that he was still a virgin. He had never stuffed his penis into a vagina before. This made him very upset. He decided that he would kill himself after he got some puss. He decided to call the prostitute hotline. Hello 9-11 what's your emergency? Send over a ho will ya? Excuse me? Send over a ho I can stuff my penis into I said! All right! Right away sir! Thank you... the ho arrived promptly and Joel whipped his wang out and started furiously master bating on the carpet. He cum. She leave. He pay $200. Joel happy. Joel think life now worth living. Joel go to bed. Joel wake up for school. Joel go to school and poop in toilet. Joel forget to wipe ass. Joel pants now brown. Joel get laugh at. Joel pulls out his Willy and fart. Joel is sad again. Joel go to physics class. Joel get physical from teacher Joel get prostate exam. Joel get erection. Joel start pissing. Joel walk home shameful.

Another sad day


	10. Chapter 10 - The Retarded Bike

Joel was laying in his bed he was thinking about what his next move should be… When suddenly alice called him.

"Sup farty?" said joel

"Nuthin much gayhole" said alice.

"Sorry aboot not smashing your cunt a few days ago" said joel

"Its alright i heard that you're eyes saw the gay footballers smashing their wee wees together. Im sorry. Nobody should have to witness that. One time i saw the gay footballers kissin in the lunchroom and i pooped my pants in disgust. That was one of the worst days of my life."

"Why did you not tell me about this, whore" said jole.

"Im sorry hedgehog boy" said alice.

"You know i could kick the shit out of you right?" said joel.

"You lay one finger on me and i will fucking kill you and your whole entire fucking family before burning every remnant of your fucking existence…" said alice.

Our lovers then both laughed together. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

"I need to see you" said joel.

"I need to fart my brains out" said alice.

"Id like to fart too someday" said joel.

"Its quite fuckin nice said alice.

"My farties are quite stinky when i do have them." said joel.

"Id like to squeeze you and make you toot." said alice.

"That sounds fuckin cool." said joel.

"Fak yeh" said alice.

"Welp i have to go pay my taxes." said joel.

"FUCKING SOCIALIST" HOWLED ALICE.

"Excuseme?" said joel.

"Nothing, baby" said alice.

"Goodbye, wop" said joel.

"Goodbye, Cracker" said alice.

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Joel sat down and did his taxes. Taxes no fun he say. He write with pen. Pen write good. He forge tax form. He fart little bit. Joel write more fake taxes. Joel listen to fifty shades gray audiobook and beat meat. Joel continue taxes. Joel like taxes. Joel nutted. Joel look at walls. Joel say his house too big. Joel call landlord. Landlord is a wop. He call joel a jew. Joel hang up because he mad. Joel toot again. Joel forget where bathroom is so he piss on couch. Joel notice rope still partially hang from ceiling fan. Joel laugh and decide to visit dad at morgue. Joel walks to neighbors house and steal moped from neighbors retarded grandson. He cry. Joel call him pussy. Joel ride on moped to morgue.

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Joel smash through revolving doors and park in lobby. Me look for my daddy say joel. Is daddy dead say morgue lady. Yes he pussy he kill hisself say joel. Right this way say morgue lady.

Joel walked down the long hallway with the morgue lady slightly in front of him. She directed him to the janitors closet. The morgue lady opened the closet to reveal Joel's father splayed across the floor.

"Even in death, he's a bitch" said joel. Suddenly a doctor called to the morgue lady from across the hallway.

"Hey! What are you doing with my boyfriend?!" said the doctor.

"Sorry, doctor. This here is this boy's father." said the morgue lady.

"I see… I see…" said the doctor. All three gazed at the body which was severley deformed by all the beatings and rapings that it had received.

"So im guessing that your hear to pick up the body and bury iT?" said the doctor to joel.

"I am good sir." said joel back.

"Can i have just one more sexy time with him please?" said the doctor.

"Go right ahead!" howled joel.

"Thank you good sir!" said the doctor. The doctor walked into the room and closed the door and then proceeded to go to pound town on the corpse of joels father. Joel went to the waiting room and cracked open a magazine entitles "Patriotic Surgery" he read an article about how it was every true americans duty to perform circumsicions and surgery at their own house so that taxpayers didnt have to pay for that shit. Meanwhile the doctor had finished up with joels dad.

"He's all yours, son!" said the doctor.  
"Thank you very mcuch?" said joel.

"Joel dragged his father to the moped and attached him by his cock to the back of teh moped. As he drove away, his fathers body left a trail of CUM that was leaking out of every orafice in his body.

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Joel decided to bury his father in front of the veterans hospital because his dad never got to join the military but he really wanted to. To commemerate his fathers grave he decided to drop one last poopie on top of him. He squirted it out and one of the veterans came outside and gave him the veteran salute. This salute of course is when a veteran hangs himself or shoots himself in the head because of all the PTSD he contracted over in ham. How sad. Joel waved and got back on his moped and drove to his house.

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Joel hit ran over the autistic grandson with his moped and hopped off. Thanks for the ride, faggot. Said joel. Joel walked up to his house and opened the door. When he noticed that there was a football party going on. But surprisingly, nobody was having gay sexxx. YET. joel wondered why all deez football niggas were in his house when somebody told him that they accidentally got the wrong addess but it was too lage to leave the party. Joel sighed and walked up to his room but he couldnt slejep becasue of all the loud negro music. As he finally closed his eyes, a footballer walked into his room and pooped in the corner. He then clibmevd into bed with joel and snuggled up next to hem. The football player was rock solid at nine and a half inches. Joel was only 3.75. The football player tried to kiss joel but joel was faster, he knocked the football man unconsiouse with his fist and cried. JOEL WAAS SO SAD BECAUSE HE DID NOT want to veer off the straight path and he wanted PUSSY not DICK. joel thru mister football man out of his window and then joel went back to bedd.

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When joel woke up, he went downstairs and they're were mister football people everywhere. Joel called the police… when the police showed up, they arrested every single football man becasue they were all negros.

"Thanks for helping us arrest all these negros, joel" said mister police man.

"Your very welcome, fag." said joel.

"Hey watch it?" said police.

"I guess emerald high school doesnt have a football team anymore" said joel,

"I guess youd be right…" said mister police man.

"But would you rather have a bunch of nig*ers on the football team, or no team at all?" said mister police man.

"I guess your write." said joel.

Joel walked up the stairs and got ready for school.


	11. Chapter 11 - James Bonetown

Joel scratched his ass hole and took a hot shower. He cum on shower floor. He think of Alice and he horny. Joel let cum wash down drain. Joel wash hair. Joel realize he still has foreskin. Joel remember when he reed article about circumsicion. Joel get rusty razor blade. Joel cut off his foreskin and put it in his pocket. Joel put on black lives matter t shirt. Joel walk to school

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Joel is walking through the hallways when suddenly some chink hedgehog makes a comment on how racist Joel's t shirt is. The chink says that ALL LIVES MATTER. Joel was furious. How could this zipperhead filth make such a dastardly comment about his favorite social change movement?? Joel makes a comment about how the gook hedgehog probs can't see out his coin slot eyes. Chink calls Joel a faggot and says that they'll fight after school. Joel has had enough.

"Do you have parents, chink?" Asked Joel.

"I have a loving mother and father who love me very much." Said the zipperhead.

"You'll never see them again once I'm done with you..." said Joel. All of a sudden, Joel's B F F, Jesus ran over and knocked that yellow fucker unconstitutional. Jesus began to pound the snot out of the hook until he was motionless.

"THAT WILL TEACH YA NOT TO FUCK WITH MY FRIENDS!!!" Said Jesus.

"Holy fuck, Jesus! Why'd you do that??" Said Joel. The chinks friends picked their yellow friend up off the ground and dragged him away...

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Joel was sitting in the vice principals office

"Joel, you can't beat a rice nigger half to death in these schools!" Said the V P

"I'm sorry!" Said Joel.

"I would never do this to my Canadian lover, James Bonetown... he's my lover. Said the V P

It was true the vice principal had a gay Canadian lover named James Bonetown.

"You are expelled, Joel..." said the vice principal

Joel left the office and called up his best friend Jesus.

"Jesus, I need you to get me as many vaccines as you can! We're going to get revenge!" Said Joel.

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Joel and Jesus snuck into the vice principals house and hit James Bonetown over the head with a lead pipe. He was knocked out. They then proceeded to inject over 40 vaccines into him... many hours later when James Bonetown awoke, he had contracted very severe low functioning Down syndrome... the duo snuck out of the house and waited... when the vice proncipal came home, he found his lover, James Bonetown had shitted his pants and was screaming on the floor.

"My god what has happened to you??" Said the vice proncipal

"It seems you have Down syndrome!" Said the vice proncipal. James Bonetown proceeded to play a game with his own feces where he would try to stuff as much of it as he could into his mouth.

"Well I don't care if you have severe Down syndrome! I love you anyway." Said the vice principal. They then made sweet passionate love... was the revenge a success??????

Fart.


End file.
